


Anyway the wind blows

by Cirkne



Category: The Simpsons
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Referenced Child Abuse, not beta read bc all my friends are fakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 11:36:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7101619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cirkne/pseuds/Cirkne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bart is seventeen and the future has never been this scary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anyway the wind blows

**Author's Note:**

> My friends gave so much shit for this but when a fic calls you can't be picky about fandoms.
> 
> I'm assuming everyone knows where the title is from, I was listening to queen the entire time I was writing this

The divorce papers get there five months after Maggie's eight birthday. Bart sits on Homer's spot on the couch and watches Marge sign them.

"Your father's a good man," she says like she's afraid they'll forget and she's not looking at Bart, just Lisa. 

"He is," Lisa agrees and Bart has heard her lie enough times to know when she does it. They hold each other's eyes for a moment when Marge bends to look at her signature again, as if she isn't sure she signed it. Somewhere upstairs, Maggie closes a door.

***

They lose the house, of course, and Marge rents out a two room apartment for the four of them. They only have one bathroom and the kitchen is too small. He overhears Lisa suggesting Marge take her college fund and starts looking for a place that would take him full time.

Lisa kicks him out of the room in the morning so she could get changed and Bart makes toast for breakfast. He thinks of how much he'd love a beer right now and then downs his coffee. He hasn't had beer since Homer left. 

Marge works in sales now and takes the bus to work. Bart double checks that Maggie has her seat belt on in the back of the car and drives her to school. Lisa changes the radio station to something he'd never listen to on his own. Bart wonders if she hasn't played her saxophone because they share a room now or because she hasn't felt like it, doesn't ask.

The Springfield elementary has gotten a new layer of paint but when he looks at it, as Maggie's getting out of the car, it doesn't really look any different.

"Maggie's classroom is the same as yours," Lisa says and he starts the car again.

In the parking lot of the Springfield high, Bart can see Milhouse getting out of his car that his mother's new husband bought him on his 16th birthday, three weeks before Bart dropped out.

When Lisa closes the car door and waves her goodbye, Milhouse is talking to someone Bart doesn't recognize. It makes his insides twist and he drives away with Lisa's weird radio station still playing. He wonders if Milhouse knows about the divorce and if this means they still have something in common.

***

Sharyll has dark brown hair and when she looks at you, it feels like she is looking through you and Bart has never heard Marge laugh so much. He walks in on them kissing in the kitchen and Marge looks like she was caught stealing instead of simply kissing someone.

She tries to explain it to him later, when Maggie and Lisa are already asleep and Bart just shrugs, tells her he really, wholeheartedly, doesn't give a fuck as long as she's happy and she doesn't tell him not to curse, just smiles. 

***

Milhouse's mother remarried when they were still fifteen. They had the ceremony in their back yard and then Milhouse had biked to Bart's house, still in his tuxedo and climbed up to the tree house. Bart had finally managed to get a matress in there and was enjoying the sun when Milhouse sat down next to him and leaned down to kiss Bart.

Bart, because he was bad at thinking about consequences and the future, had kissed back and soon they were making out on his ratty matress in a tree house that should have fallen apart years ago.

Milhouse, his hand under Bart's shirt, had said:

"I didn't think you'd kiss back."

"Me neither," Bart told him and pulled Milhouse in again.

***

Bart asks who Lisa's texting as they drive to the grocery store and when he takes a left to avoid driving past Moe's, making their trip longer, she either doesn't notice or doesn't say anything.

"Sharyll," Lisa tells him, easily. "She wants to take mom to an art exhibition and needs my advice." 

"Tell her to take her to whichever one will get them both laid," he says.

"Bart!" Lisa shrieks and her voice sounds so much like it did when they were kids. "Gross!" 

"Whatever you say, sis," Bart grins and turns up the song on the radio. 

***

Sharyll drives Marge to work. Bart takes the night shift at a gas station and comes home every morning just in time to take Maggie and Lisa to school.

He talks about going into the army once and Lisa tells him he shouldn't so he decides not to, doesn't ask her why. She's still the smartest person he knows. He wants to tell her that if she doesn't call him to catch up while she's in some nerd college, he'll drive down there just to yell at her. He never says it, though. He thinks that if she wanted to completely forget about him and never call, he'd understand.

Lisa fakes being sick to get out of school and it's the first time she's done it, ever. When Bart comes home after dropping Maggie off, she is sitting in the kitchen and there's a can of beer in front of her.

"I want to try it," she says when Bart sits down in front of her.

"So you skipped school to do it?" he asks and tries not to sound annoyed but there's a bitter taste in his mouth just from looking at the can. He'd ask where she got it but he's afraid she went to visit Homer.

"I wanted to try that, too," she tells him and suddenly looks small and shy. Bart isn't used to seeing her like this so he sighs and opens the can. A little bit of it sprays on his fingers and he pushes the can to Lisa. She looks at him, her eyes big and hopeful. "Can you try it first?" she asks. She covered for him the first time he got drunk with Milhouse and passed out in the tree house.

"Sure," Bart says and puts the can to his lips. It's been almost nine months since his last beer. When he finally swallows it, nothing happens. "Here," he says and doesn't wait for Lisa to try it, gets up to get to bed.

He can hear her pouring it out in the sink once he lays down.

***

Milhouse opens the door to the gas station a little after three in the morning on a school night. Bart watches him grab two cans of some energy drink and four bottles of beer. He walks to the cash register and only then stops, blinks at Bart and shakes his head a little as if he's expecting Bart to be a hallucination.

"I didn't know you work here," Milhouse says and slowly puts his things in front of Bart.

"Yeah, well," Bart says because he can't think of anything else and then looks down at the alcohol in front of him. "Your id?" he asks though he's mostly just messing with him. Still, Milhouse pulls out his fake and hands it to Bart. Bart whistles.

"What?" Milhouse asks, Bart can see him fidgeting with his hands.

"Nicely done, dude," Bart says and starts scanning his things, puts the id where Milhouse can reach but doesn't hand it to him. "You shouldn't be drinking behind the wheel, though."

"They're not-" Milhouse says and his voice cracks. "I wouldn't," he tries again, lowering his voice. He used to do it when they were still friends. Bart never figured out why. "You know me."

Bart glances at the clock on the wall behind him and then turns back to Milhouse.

"The Milhouse I know wouldn't be at a gas station buying alcohol at three in the morning so," Bart says and realizes he shouldn't be saying this, or anything. Hell, he shouldn't have agreed to sell Milhouse the alcohol but Milhouse is already shoving the money into his hands and putting everything into a bag.

"The Bart I know wouldn't be at a gas station selling me alcohol at three in the morning," Milhouse says and his voice cracks again. His face is red and Bart can't tell if he's angry or embarrassed. Maybe both.

"I would be in that stupid car with you," Bart calls after him when Milhouse is almost out the door. He doesn't know if Milhouse even hears him.

***

Bart gets the weekend off and lets Lisa text him potential movies to watch while Marge is out with Sharyll. Selma and Patty pick Maggie up to take her to an amusement park just outside the city. They've been doing that a lot lately. They say they only want Ling to have company but Selma told him once that Maggie could still be saved. He didn't ask what she could be saved from but he didn't really need to. Selma and Patty don't ever mention Homer.

"Do you think genes influence our parenting?" Lisa asks him when Bart is back with microwavable pizza and popcorn. 

"I don't want to have kids," Bart tells her, putting the grocery bag on the floor of their room. 

Lisa looks at him for a long moment and then nods like she understands this, like she understands everything in the world.

He says:

"Don't tell Maggie but you're my favorite sister."

She laughs, loudly and tells him he's an idiot.

"Lisa," Bart says over her. "I'm gay." She rolls her eyes.

"I know," she says and fixes her hair, looks down at the bag on the floor, adds: "We can watch a horror movie if you want."

She knows, he thinks, and, I will watch her rule the world some day. 

***

He sees Homer crossing the street, turns around and runs. It's stupid, he knows, he couldn't have kept avoiding every place Homer could possibly visit, would have run into him eventually. He's the only one who hasn't seen or talked to Homer and as childish as it may be, Bart wants to leave it that way. 

As he's running he thinks, god, if he only had his skateboard right now but he hasn't used it in so long and this feels so much different than trying to hide from the principal of his elementary school or running away from someone he just pranked.

There was a time in his life when someone wanted to kill him and he still wasn't as scared as he is now.

He turns a right and realizes he's in the Springfield elementary's parking lot, completely out of breath and his heart racing. His vision is blurry and he feels like maybe he'll faint and for a moment he can't hear anything and when he does, it's someone saying his name.

Bart blinks and tries to catch his breath and looks up at a face he recognizes.

"Man, you haven't aged well," he says and principal Skinner barks out a laugh like they're old friends. Which, he supposes, would make some sense.

Skinner reaches out to touch him and Bart flinches, moves away as fast as he can.

"Would love to catch up with you, old man" he says. "But I really gotta go," and dashes as far away from the school as he can. He thinks he can hear Skinner shouting after him but doesn't stop. 

***

He goes to work and he drives his sisters to and from school. When Marge asks him, he drives to get groceries or to pick her up. He stops going out on other occasions. When Sharyll suggests they all go for dinner, he lies and says he has to pick up someone's shift at the gas station. When Lisa invites him out, he pretends he's not feeling well. He hopes that if he sticks to this routine, he'll never have to see Homer again. 

He's not smart - he knows this - he's a high school drop out whose sister is _Lisa Simpson_ , the girl that's bigger than their whole fucking state, future president of, well, in his head, the world. But he knows some things, some stupid things that have somehow reached his brain and clung to it. Fractals are repeating patterns that can be seen at any scale. Everything in his life is a repeating pattern as well. He wonders if one day he'll be able to see the way it's all the same all the time.

Marge starts talking about moving in with Sharyll and she says, smiling, that Bart won't have to work at the gas station anymore. He has to remind her that he will because there's nothing else he can do and he does plan on moving out eventually.

"Sorry," Marge says and it sounds like she's suddenly apologizing for everything that's happened. Bart shakes his head and can't bring himself to tell her it's ok. 

***

It's 3am again and the speakers in the gas station are playing an old song that Bart only recognizes because Milhouse's mother had it on cd and they used to listen to it on the floor of Milhouse's living room.

They weren't dating, he can say that much. They weren't dating but he wanted them to, the same way he wanted to have a future in a place other than Springfield and the same way he wanted to work as a teacher the year after Krabappel died and maybe up until the age of fifteen when Homer had frowned at all the new things Bart needed to buy for high school and asked if it wasn't time he dropped out yet. It was unreachable. It was something Bart never said out loud, not even to Milhouse or Lisa even though they were the closest people he had. Had, he thinks and maybe that's why he hates thinking about Lisa going to college so much because Milhouse will be leaving soon too. Bart isn't something you take with you. He's a picture you put in a book for safe keeping and then forget to take it out.

The gas station is empty and the song ends. His phone rings and he doesn't want to pick it up but it's Lisa and so he has to.

"Why are you awake?" he asks and his voice sounds far away and like it isn't his.

Lisa, close to tears and in a whisper says:

"What happens once I leave, Bart? What happens to you?" Through the gas station doors he can see how dark it is outside and the sky doesn't have any stars and he closes his eyes. If he was sixteen, sitting on the edge of her bed in their home, both of their parents asleep in their bedroom, he'd tell her he doesn't know and that he's afraid, so afraid.

"Nothing," he says and opens his eyes. The lights inside are too bright. "Nothing happens to me, Lis. I stay here." He can hear her breathing, slowly, quietly. She's trying not to cry, he knows.

"Go with me," Lisa says. "Mom can take care of Maggie on her own."

"Sure," he lies. "But you need to get some sleep first."

"Sure," she echoes and hangs up.

***

Sharyll says, with a glass of wine in front of her:

"I would never do that to you, you know," and she's gesturing towards his neck and he thinks: _of course not_ and says he has to go.

He walks to the comic book store that's no longer that but now a coffee shop. He looks at the people sitting there but doesn't go in. Coffee reminds him of Barney Gumble back when he was still trying to stay sober. He doesn't know if he's sober now and he doesn't want to know. Barney Gumble had once called him Homer and then laughed and said that Bart was so much like his dad. 

Bart wants to get drunk and feel dizzy and brave and like nothing matters. He wants to hate the taste but drink still because alcohol ruins you and he wants to be ruined too. Or, he wants to be able to control the mess that he is. He wants someone to put their hands on his neck until he stops struggling. He wants, badly, to be ten years old again and go to the school counselor and show her the bruises. He wants to be asked if he's ok and he wants to tell them no because now he knows this. When he was ten and Lisa was eight and he was stupid and annoying and a bother, he didn't know that he could be treated differently.

He takes his phone and finds Milhouse's number and thinks what a stupid name Milhouse is and why didn't Bart give him a nickname. The phone rings and he wonders if Milhouse's number is still the same and if he'll pick up even.

"Bart?" Milhouse says but he doesn't sound as surprised as Bart would have expected him to. No, he sounds almost like he knew Bart would call, like Bart is calling just a little bit late.

"Hey," Bart says and there are voices behind Milhouse. Voices of his new friends, Bart guesses. "I'll pay you to buy me beer."

"You don't like beer," Milhouse tells him and Bart kicks at the sidewalk. He's not exactly expecting a yes but he doesn't say anything to agree with Milhouse and he doesn't hang up, just waits. Milhouse sighs and there are more voices that Bart can't make out. "Just get to my house," Milhouse says.

Milhouse's living room smells like lemon and alcohol and his friends are all just a little buzzed and they all remember Bart and Bart doesn't pretend he remembers them. He sits down on the floor and rests his back against the couch and tries not to think of all the times he sat here like this playing video games.

Milhouse hands him a glass and it's not beer but it's still alcohol so he takes it and drinks and listens to Milhouse's friends talk. They talk about school, mostly. About things and teachers and people that piss them off and Bart doesn't get their jokes so he doesn't laugh. They talk about someone who's known for pulling pranks and when Bart looks at Milhouse, Milhouse isn't looking at him. 

He's never seen the movies they mention and he doesn't get their music taste and when they finally leave, Milhouse sits down next to a drunk Bart and breathes out. Bart turns to him and realizes Milhouse is completely sober.

"Did you get a fake just for them?" Bart asks. Milhouse isn't looking at him, but straight ahead, at their reflections on his TV.

"I had to make friends somehow," Milhouse tells him. Their legs are touching.

"They're using you," Bart says and it sounds like he's making fun of Milhouse and maybe he is, he doesn't know anymore. Milhouse hums and doesn't say anything. The room feels like it used to be bigger. "Doesn't it bother you?"

"No," Milhouse says and leans closer to Bart. If Milhouse turned to look at him, Bart could kiss him. He wants to kiss him. He's so drunk.

"Growing up sucks," Bart says and turns to look at Milhouse's TV too. In the reflection, they look so much younger or maybe so much older or just not like themselves at all.

"Yeah," Milhouse agrees and takes Bart's hand in his. His skin is cold, cold and Bart's feels like it's burning and he thinks of how foul his mouth tastes and how he probably smells like alcohol, like bad decisions, like _Homer_.

When he starts crying, Milhouse pulls him to his chest and doesn't say anything.

***

Milhouse puts the car windows down and puts in a cd of something that they used to listen to in middle school. The wind is cool on his skin and Bart closes his eyes and listens to everything around him.

They stop at the gas station Bart works at and he bows his head low because the person at the register is supposed to think he's sick. Milhouse buys two energy drinks and two water bottles and Bart wonders why he keeps coming back there because everything is way overpriced.

Milhouse says he doesn't care and why would he, really. He has the money and his parents aren't home most of the time. They're in Iceland now - just for the weekend - because they're the kind of people that can afford it and Bart thinks of how he shares his room with Lisa and how Marge shares hers with Maggie and tries to hate them.

"High school feels both too fast and too slow," Milhouse tells him. Bart reaches for his energy drink but doesn't open it, just holds it in his hand. The road before them is empty and dark and Bart thinks that Springfield like this looks way better than it does during the day.

"Where are you taking me?" Bart asks but he doesn't actually care. Right now he'd go anywhere Milhouse would take him.

"Somewhere special," Milhouse tells him and Bart finally opens his energy drink. Some of the street lights, as they're driving by them, are broken. A car drives in the opposite direction of them and Bart wonders who is even driving around this late. He watches Milhouse's hands on the steering wheel and thinks of how he'd like to be a mechanic one day.

Milhouse pulls into the drive way of 742, Evergreen Terrace and Bart blinks at the empty, quiet house. The "For sale" sign stands a little crooked in the lawn and Bart turns to look at Milhouse, looking at him with question in his eyes. When they moved, he left the ratty matress in the tree house. It's probably gone to shit now and Bart shrugs, opens the car door.

When he turns to the car to tell Milhouse to hurry up, not because he feels uneasy in front of his old home but - just because, Milhouse is holding their drinks and a blanket.

"God, you're like Lisa, always prepared," Bart says and motions for Milhouse to follow him.

Someone turns on one of the lights in the Flanders' house. Bart stills for a moment and wonders what would Ned say if he saw him now, in the middle of the night, sneaking into his old tree house with his old best friend.

Milhouse passes him to climb up the ladder and Bart thinks that Ned probably wouldn't care so he hurries to catch up and takes the things out of Milhouse's hands so he could climb.

Milhouse asks, looking right at Bart, his lips pink and chapped:

"Why did we have to stop being friends?"

"I don't know," Bart says and doesn't lean in to kiss him.

"Me neither," Milhouse answers and he does. Bart drops everything he's holding and Milhouse's can of energy drink explodes all over their feet. Standing under his old tree house, kissing his old best friend in the middle of the night, Bart thinks of how for the first time in maybe a year he feels like a teenager again. 

***

Lisa, sitting on Bart's bed, her legs crossed under herself, looks more worried than she should look.

"He's going to college, Bart," she says like everything Bart could ever reach for are people as pathetic as him, people who see no future outside of their shitty hometown. "I don't want you to get hurt."

She doesn't even know what happened, Bart realizes. Only what Milhouse told her when he called while Bart was trying to sober up on his bed. She doesn't even know Bart called sick into work. She's only assuming - the way she always is because she can, because she's the smartest person in their entire family and it makes him want to puke.

"Maybe I'll go with him," he says and it sounds so fake it makes him angry. He looks at her and wants to tell her to fuck off but she's his sister and she knows better so he just sighs and sits down next to her.

"Bart," Lisa says and it sounds like a pleading.

"Lisa," he answers in the same tone. "Not now," _not ever_ he wants to say, at least not until Milhouse does leave. She looks at him and nods and takes his hand like they are children again.

***

Marge buys back their house and keeps working in sales. Sharyll puts two lawn chairs in their back yard, where Homer hung a hammock years ago. She sits there and reads and then gets up to help with lunch or dinner or chores in general. She chats with Ned, sometimes, and he gives her a discount in his shop and she gives him back the stuff she borrows. 

Bart gets his room back and feels like it's too quiet but doesn't say anything and he still works the night shift at the gas station. Sometimes he sits on the sidewalk, between his house and the Flanders' and talks to Rod about unreachable dreams and the future and how he needs to take down the tree house because it's going to fall apart any second but he never gets to it. He starts looking into mechanic training, there's a program he can start in a month.

Milhouse comes over and Lisa gives Bart worried looks but never says anything and he takes Milhouse's hand and leads him upstairs to his bedroom and they sit on Bart's bed and kiss or watch movies or talk and neither of them mention college or jobs or the future.

Lisa starts playing her saxophone again and annoys everyone in the house but they don't say anything and she looks happier now, even if she drinks more coffee and stays up later.

Maggie takes up singing lessons and hums melodies at their breakfast table and invites Ling over all the time. It's nearing Maggie's birthday now and it's been a year since Homer left and everything is starting to feel better.

***

He sees Homer while in the passenger seat of Milhouse's car. Milhouse is talking about astronomy and Bart doesn't need to ask to know that's what he wants to major in and he's realizing, slowly, that he's less afraid of Milhouse leaving than he thought.

Homer is walking out of Moe's and he looks wasted, of course he does. Bart lifts his hand to his neck and presses his fingers to his pulse and Milhouse says:

"I'm in love with you."

Bart drops his hand and smiles and turns away from the window to look at Milhouse, at his hands on the steering wheel, at his smile and then at his shitty car radio. There are mechanic shops all over the world and Bart is finally starting to believe that maybe Springfield doesn't have to be his ending point. And he thinks, if he leaves, Lisa will still call him when she gets in a fight with Marge and Homer won't be able to follow him and maybe it's for the best after all.

"I'm in love with you too," he says and when they turn the corner he doesn't look back to see Homer, he looks ahead.


End file.
